Hi Heather, Hope you are doing well. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions, one single gal to another. :) My oncologist has decided to take me off of Avastin maintenance since it's taking such a toll on my blood pressure. Also since I'm NED and my ca 125 is 11. He feels I should give my body a rest and get my life back as he puts it. Having said that, I'm thinking to myself, what now? I'm not ready to go back to work physically, but I'm on social security and God is providing for me and my 2 kids. I also started a small crafting business that keeps me busy. But what I'm struggling with and thinking about is getting back into the dating scene. My boyfriend and I broke up last August and I hadn't even thought of dating until now. How did you handle this? Were you afraid to be dating again? Do you open up about your health and uncertain future? I am also stage IIIC and know that this beast will be back sooner or later, how can I get into a relationship knowing that? I've really been praying on this and seeking God's guidance.
Any advice would be really appreciated.
I was single, dating and cancer happened. There are others that are in relationships or married and it strengthens them and then there are others that their partner disappears. It goes the same with people sticking around when times are good and when times are bad they are gone or at the first site of trouble they're out. In my own personal experience with cancer it hasn't been great dating and plus I'm so open and honest about my cancer, I've got followers that are cancer patients around the world and if I'm open with people I've never met in person I need to be able to be open with the person I'm with. I read a book about being young and dating and it says you should say it on the 4th date. Well I'm not perfect and I use humor and a lot of people know me because I speak up of cancer. I think it goes hand and hand with love yourself first so you can lover another and do the things you love and the right people will find you. I didn't say it would be easy, nope. I've kissed a lot of frogs. And I'm still learning too, I'm still single and not perfect but I can say that I learned the best life lesson from a dog. My pet Chanel who passed back May and was struck by a car. That dog had been through hell and back with me, through family issues, raising my siblings, a boyfriend who went gay and my cancer, out of everyone this tiny 5 lbs dog loved me unconditionally with no expectation that I would do the same. The problem in my life is that I always gave out my love with the expectation of being loved the same way in return and that is not loving unconditionally. She had to die for me to learn this lesson and if I could learn to love unconditionally I would find the right people and possibly the right man for me. Since cancer I have done a 180 and I only have a few good friends that I'm rebuilding my life with but it's better to have few with great qualities. The same thing goes for dating, go out and have fun, enjoy it's mean't to be fun. Smile, laugh and dance. Have a glass of wine or two. Once you find your inner happy you will automatically find the right person. But when it comes to telling someone about your own cancer, I say be honest if a person can't handle honesty no matter the topic of cancer or coffee blends then they're not honest with themselves in their own lives and that's not what you want. Always do your best to be positive, you'll have your days you want to shut everyone out and break down, and do that all you want. But don't forget that life was mean't to be lived and if you are not living you might as well be dead. No pun intended. So who cares if someone has a negative reaction to your situation, no one knows there time to go cancer or no cancer. So don't want on cancer to come back and knock on your door. And if you do find people or in the dating scene that are open and understand it those are the people that you need to be around more. You never know who you might be helping or inspire when sharing your own story.